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Post by Sun Ce on May 23, 2012 19:46:05 GMT -5
The Wu leader was known as a hot head on occasions, easily drawn into arguments and raised voices, but it was very rare the two had such a talk together. Not only was it clear that Ce was annoyed by her mention of Diao Chan, but he also grew annoyed with her lack of formality in her voice; he was still the Wu lord after all regardless.
"Don't give me that Ce, don't make it sound like I'm speaking out of jealousy!"
His eyes lit up with a spark, threatening a growing fire. He flared his nose and furrowed his brows as he took a step forward. He was about to argue the uses of Diao Chan and why she was there - doing so would have brought in some words and thoughts that wouldn't sit well with the wife of Wu, but he was caught in a web of emotions and the fire inside him wished to burn the room down and consume them both; as was the great burden of stress on him threatening to do.
His mouth gaped open, ready to speak, but his wife wished to talk on and for now he allowed her the chance to do so.
"I have to live with the burden of telling our--- our child that her father may not come home; that I couldn't do anything to help or s-- save him. How can I look her in the eyes and tell her I did everything I could?"
The flashback hit him and he remembered his father in his arms, dying and saying his last words. Those words weren't known by Quan, Ren or any of their other siblings, in fact Da hardly knew the whole story, only that he had an untold ghost which followed him concerning that fateful battle. His hesitation showed that she had hit home strongly and if that was not enough a swallow in his throat would confirm it.
He felt the stress inside him building and building, any other day he'd have been reasonable, used that memory to inject a moment of resolution to their heated discussion, but instead reason seemed to fade away and he retook his firm stance, even going as far to push even more with it, taking it to places he had not often gone before.
"You you you!" already he didn't sound like his usual self, he was angry - at her. "Do you think I go without guilt or consideration?! I go because it's what I do. You stay here, you will always stay here and do what you're good at! Which is being a mother and an official!"
Wow, he charged into her with only the beginning of his scathing verbal assault on her. His stress was only increasing further as each word was produced - he knew they were poorly chosen and he felt the guilt build up more and more.
"When I die, you will have to deal with it, because that is your job!" He realised what he said and turned his gaze away slightly, correcting himself, "If I die...-" Then he continued on. "You will do as I say, when I say it and you will stop your selfish bullshit act with me, it's getting fucking old!"
He had gone way too far, he'd likely send her into tears, maybe even out of the room entirely. All the while he didn't even contemplate she'd pick up on his slip up about his death - would she ask about it? Would she already know what he meant? Or would she be far too upset and shocked to think straight?
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Post by Da Qiao on May 24, 2012 0:20:49 GMT -5
When annoyance turned to anger she shrunk back, her body instinctively jerked back, for the first time in her life she was afraid of him. His words had only barely registered in her mind, but her breathing had grown heavier and she felt infinitely weaker almost cowering in his presence.
Da didn't dare move, she didn't even consider speaking for fear she would use the wrongs words and yet with every syllable that left his lips she felt like it was another slap to the face.
She heard him say it, she heard his correction, but she was immobilized to the bed, the tears that she had tried to hold back streamed freely down her face and before she knew it she couldn't hold back the sobs. Unlike her sisters she wasn't strong, unlike Xiao and Ren she didn't know what to say.
"You will do as I say, when I say it and you will stop your selfish bullshit act with me, it's getting fucking old!"
With this final blow she flinched as if a child caught in the act of misbehaving, her body slightly shook uncontrollably as she bit back the overwhelming emotions, the pain on her lower lip was the only sensation she could feel and even it wasn't distracting enough.
"Ce..."
The lack of title this time was different, it was not a show of disrespect, but the only way she could reach out to him not as her lord, but as her life companion.
"M--my lord, Ce, please!"
She was stuttering through sobs, voice barely a whisper but she wasn't even sure what she was pleading for. Somehow she felt that it had nothing to do with their earlier conversation of Diao Chan and wanting to go with him, but everything to do with how... scared of him she was; not that Ce ever hurt her.
Of all her years living with him, Da never had to deal with such a situation and being who she was she slowly started to shut down eyes turning towards the ground, head bowed in defeat. The sobs had all but stopped. The tears and shaking continued and her teeth never left her lip; with her small frame she almost looked like a frightened and scolded child.
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Post by Sun Ce on May 24, 2012 8:18:24 GMT -5
He wasn't usually the aggressive type around his wife, but his words held a certain amount to be at the very least shocking to Da Qiao. It was likely the last night with her, perhaps it was why he over-reacted so much, or could it be the guilty knowledge of Diao Chan's effects on him spurred him to act so out of character.
Ce wasn't going to hurt her, but he was annoyed with her lack of acceptance at his words. She shouldn't have spoke against him, shouldn't have tried to persuade him otherwise, as everything he did was meant to protect her and their daughter - at least that is what Sun Bofu believed to be the case. Partially his actions were out of protection, whilst undoubtedly they were also out of necessity to prevent being held back.
"M--my lord, Ce, please!"
Sun Ce looked down at her with a scowl, irritated by her crying as much as he was by her earlier protests. She had her eyes lowered and her head facing the ground, so it would go unnoticed, a good job too, as the expression would have likely sent her further into a crying frenzy.
The lord of Wu took a step forward, entering her personal space before he crouched again, intent on dealing with their situation there and then. He watched her for a second or two, the guilt and stress within him bubbling more and more and for a moment he allowed himself to calm down, if only slightly.
"Da...-" When that didn't make her raise her face, he made his voice a little more stern and with his right hand, lifted her chin up to face him. "Da...! I am Sun Ce, I do this for my people and there is no place in this latest fight for you. You need to understand you have outlived your time on the battlefield, there is no chance of us being side to side there again."
He seemed to calm down more with each word he spoke, softening his features at the sight of his wife so upset and afraid of him. He didn't want her last memory of him to be a bad one, so he would make a conscious effort from them on in to make her happy again before he left, for what he suspected may be his final fight.
"I love you, Da - it's the reason why I can't allow you to go. I lost a father on the battlefield, nearly a brother; I am not going to lose a wife."
His guilty look was clear on his face, he still held information from her, but with his slip up in wording moments ago, he doubted she was oblivious to what he thought he knew. In an effort to reassure he wasn't going to get so angry again, his hand fell from her chin, just before any tears could reach it and fell gently to her left leg and gave a soft squeeze, in a kind gesture.
His breathing was a little faster than normal, as he calmed himself down from his sudden outburst, it would take it all to go, or at least a good portion of his stress for him to apologise to her, but he would eventually.
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Post by Da Qiao on May 24, 2012 17:47:16 GMT -5
Da didn't want to have to look into his eyes, refusing to look up even at the utterance of her name she kept her eyes bowed, face still streaked with the tears which had somehow stopped, still, she grieved on the inside.
At first, she didn't meet his gaze, avoiding eye contact she didn't want to see disappointment or irritation in his eyes any more. As he spoke the softening sternness in his voice made her finally look him straight in the eyes and it was she who felt guilt. How could she be selfish enough to bring this all on him, especially knowing how overworked he was.
She brought a shaky hand to his jaw, she hoped that without having to say anything her simple touch could ease him, let him know how sorry she was.
"I love you, Da - it's the reason why I can't allow you to go. I lost a father on the battlefield, nearly a brother; I am not going to lose a wife."
If Da felt guilty before, it was nothing compared to how she felt now. It never dawned on her that the memory of losing his father was fresh in his mind, the close call with Quan and even losing Taishi Ci. Da could almost picture what would happen to Ce if she were to fall in battle; how devastated he would be. She knew that many women were left widowed many in much less fortunate circumstance than she men who couldn't choose whether or not to be in the front lines.
Da wanted to see him return in the same spirits as his return from Red Cliff, she could still remember his exhausted but uplifted features, the cheers and applaud from the crowdhis glowing face and his generals flanking his sides. Da still felt a surge of pride at the memory and prayed that it wouldn't be the last time she could see his beaming face.
Her thumb traced the curve of his jaw following the movements with her eyes, the skin under her eyes red and raw from the tears she had just shed. Her lower lip released from its former strain but red and slightly swollen from the abuse it suffered from her teeth. As she spoke her voice didn't break any more, but it sounded worn and breathless.
"My love for you drove me to say selfish things, and for that I am sorry. Forgive me my lord, but can you blame me for fearing for you?"
Her thumb stopped and she returned her gaze to his eyes a weak smile creeping up on her features.
"At least promise you will come home to me, no, promise you will do everything in your power to return home safely."
She knew her initial statement was too much, as hard as it was to admit to herself, there would always be a chance, but she wanted to know that he would do whatever it was in his power to not jeopardize his life unnecessarily.
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Post by Sun Ce on May 25, 2012 20:24:14 GMT -5
Ce truly wanted her to be safe in Jian Ye, across the river and far from the dangers of war. He could not guarantee his own safety however, and so hoped she would not bring it up. His heart pulled and hurt because of her emotions pouring out, he wanted there to be a simple solution where everyone won, but that simply was not war.
Her gentle touch on his face brought further calm to his head, which until recently had been stirring with ill thought out words and contemplations; Da Qiao proved again why they were a match made in heaven.
"My love for you drove me to say selfish things, and for that I am sorry. Forgive me my lord, but can you blame me for fearing for you?"
Their eyes met and he opened his mouth to talk but was cut off before he had a chance and he knew what she was to say. To tell her the truth would likely bring all the issues back up and he did not wish for a repeat cycle of their argument, nor did he particularly want to lie to her.
"At least promise you will come home to me, no, promise you will do everything in your power to return home safely."
There was hesitation, he wasn't confident in his safety, something he had always been, even under the massive numbers against him at Red Cliffs, he was always willing to take the challenge and always backed himself to come out of it alive and in one, well working piece - instead that pause before he spoke said far more than any words he could say.
"Pfft, of course, I'm Sun Ce."
He played it cool, shaking it away with playful charisma, but he had still taken a vital second or more to reply to her. What may worry her more was his lack of a promise, he tried to shrug it off and move the conversation elsewhere, but in the process he was making it more and more obvious he was hiding something and it wouldn't take a genius to guess what about - to dodge the promise must only mean he did not expect himself to remain safe, and that meant he must have been given a bad omen or something at the planning stage wasn't right.
He was a perfectionist on the battlefield and one thing must be clear - it couldn't be the strategy: it must be his destiny.
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Post by Da Qiao on May 26, 2012 12:48:35 GMT -5
It didn't take one as intelligent and Zhou Yu to see the hesitation in his speech pattern, the pause and even his body language as minimal as it was. Da wanted to protest, she wanted to demand the promise out of him, but with the memory of their argument fresh in her mind the strong feelings only showed in her slightly narrowed eyes which relaxed instantly if only to keep the peace.
Da Qiao wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled herself closer, her cheek brushing against his own and she buried her face in his neck clinging to him as if he was her only life line.
"Pfft, of course, I'm Sun Ce."
Despite his lack of a promise she had to cling to any form of reassurance even if it was possibly empty. There was nothing more she could say that would change his mind, especially after her last protest it was obvious that he had made up his mind and even she couldn't change it.
"She's going to want to see her father before he goes."
It was obvious she was speaking about their child. Her voice was slightly muffled against his neck and she turned her head to the side so that her lips were pressed gently against his neck, they still felt sore; reminding her of their previous argument and all it did was make her hold on him strengthen she didn't want to let go and she didn't want him to fight, but it was inevitable and she could do nothing about it, Da knew a lost cause when she saw it and attempting to squeeze promises out of him was not going to work, but only frustrate him further; she raised the white flag.
Her lips spread into a small smile and she giggled, it was weak, but it was genuine and small.
"Of course, how could I doubt my 'Little Conqueror'."
The possessive tone in her 'my' was playful and she nuzzled his neck affectionately knowing full well that this would be the last time she could be in contact with him for a while, and possibly, ever. She shuddered mentally at the thought and cast it aside. If he succeed in laying the foundations of Wu with a small force, and repeat his victory in Red Cliff then why couldn't he emerged victorious again? There was still doubt, but she cast it in the back of her mind for now she would revel in optimism. A/N: Sorry it's short (well it seems as much to me) didn't want it to be forced, you understand of course
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Post by Sun Ce on May 28, 2012 14:38:51 GMT -5
He was glad when she wrapped her arms around his neck and clung to him with gentle assurance. Ce needed her to be there for him, not to argue with him. Her frame held onto him and he had to reposition his legs to better keep his balance, forced onto his knees to counter her weight, as light as may be. He returned her touch, putting his arms around her slim waist with a loving touch.
It wouldn't be long until he left, it was early morning as it was and he would be leaving at the latest of midday. He wouldn't have much sleep as it was, but he didn't feel that tired any longer, instead a moment of life was upon him, all because of the wonderful woman he had married those years ago.
"She's going to want to see her father before he goes."
He knew it to be so and he would, in fact he planned to wake up earlier than normal and spend a few hours with her in the morning, ensuring if anything happened, at least her last moments would be in a more favourable circumstance than he had the misfortune to be in when he lost his own father.
"I'll wake up early, I'll spend a few hours with her - I mean, we'll spend a few hours, because you're not getting away with an early wake up." He smiled through the last part, giving his tone a lighter sound.
"Of course, how could I doubt my 'Little Conqueror'."
He loved it when she called him that, whether it was the possessive tone that made their relationship sound more real, or whether it was the playful sound it gave off, he was unsure of, but he wasn't about to let it slip. His hands moved from her waist up and under her arms before with slight force drew them away from his neck. It was inevitable what he was up to and with a push he would send her backwards onto their bed.
"I have a strategy for everything, after all."
It was the final quip from the Little Conqueror before he'd do the final making up to his wife he had so harshly upset moments before.
In the morning he'd spend time with Sun Shi, before he'd leave for war. At the fore of the palace, he'd say goodbye to the likes of his brother Quan, Zhang Zhao, Lu Su and of course his wife one final time. There would be much celebrating, largely from the populace of Jian Ye who had come to see their own hero of war decide to have one final strike at Hefei and many believed the power of the Conqueror would be far too much for Zhang Liao, a man who would likely not even be present, for the demon would be replaced by something far different, but so alike, Lu Bu.
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